The Big Question

Question yourself. Post your own answer. Give to receive.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Fifty-eigth Question


What is the funniest joke you've ever heard or can remember?


  • At 7:43 PM, Blogger Mind Sprite said…

    A three year old is taking a bath. He looks down at his genitals and asks "Mommy, are these my brains?"

    And she says "Not yet!"

  • At 7:50 PM, Blogger 4evergapeach said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 7:54 PM, Blogger 4evergapeach said…

    Once there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to him. Then one day he met a woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry he thought to himself, "She is such a sweet and gentle woman, she would never go for this type of carrying on." He made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later his car broke down on the way home from work.

    Since he lived in the country he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way, he passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than he could stand. Since he still had miles to walk, he figured that he would walk off any ill effects by the time he reached home. So, he stopped at the diner and before he knew it, he had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted, and upon arriving home he felt reasonably sure he could control it.

    His wife greeted him at the door and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded him and led him to his seat at the head of the table. He seated himself and just as she was about to remove the blindfold from her husband, the telephone rang. She made him promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned. He of course assured her that he would not. She then went to answer the telephone.

    The baked beans he had consumed were still affecting him and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while his wife was out of the room he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but ripe as rotten eggs. He took his napkin and fanned the air around him vigorously. Then, he shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded him of cooked cabbage. Keeping his ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, he went on like this for another ten minutes.
    When the telephone farewells signaled the end of his freedom, he fanned the air a few more times with his napkin, placed it on his lap and folded his hands upon it, smiling contentedly to himself. He was the picture of innocence when his wife returned, apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked, and he assured her that he had not.

    At this point, she removed the blindfold, and there was his surprise!!!

    Twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish him a "Happy Birthday"!!!

  • At 9:24 PM, Blogger SassyFemme said…

    I totally suck at remembering jokes! Waahhh!

  • At 11:18 PM, Blogger AKH said…

    I wish I could remember a good joke, but that was a great one 4evergapeach.

  • At 1:26 AM, Blogger Kris said…

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the water?


    Still gets me since I was 5!

  • At 2:46 AM, Blogger Bent Fabric said…

    Re-telling jokes is not my forte. I suck the humor out of them. Plus the ones I'm thinking of would only work if you could hear my voice.

  • At 1:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Bob was going to be married to Susan, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat. He says, "Son, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother and said, "Here, try these on." So, she did and said, "These are too big, I can't wear them." So I replied, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will." Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

    "Hmmm," says Bob. He thinks that might be a good thing to try. So, on his honeymoon Bob takes off his pants and says to Susan, "Here try these on." So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me." So Bob says, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will and I don't want you to ever forget that."

    Then Susan takes off her pants and hands them to Bob and says, "Here you try on mine."

    So he does and says, "I can't get into your pants."

    So Susan says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smartass attitude, you never will."

  • At 10:38 AM, Blogger SD27 said…

    Did you hear about the guy that had five penises?

    His pants fit like a glove.

  • At 3:34 PM, Blogger Clandestine said…

    George Bush was asked what he thought of Roe vs. Wade. He replied,"I don't care how they get of New Orleans, as long as they're safe."

    Okay - it's in poor taste, but it's my honest answer!

  • At 11:36 PM, Blogger Ace of Spades said…

    Me too sassyfemme. I have heard that one 4evergapeach, its a good one.


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